Monday, October 4, 2010

Do I suffer from A.D.D.?

Yesterday I had one big thing I needed to get done. One. That's all. I didn't. Get it done, that is. Here's a list of what I DID get done, along with the corresponding photos:

-5 loads of laundry washed

-dishwasher full of dishes loaded/unloaded

-counters wiped down spotlessly clean

-pathetic attempt at a run

-napped

-sorted giant mound of crap that's been hanging in our laundry room

It appears I regressed back to a similar state that I used to experience in college. Perhaps some of you know it. It's the phenomenon where you have something for which you need to prepare. Maybe a test, a big project, or even a final. You need to study. You know you do. But you just don't.
I would surmise that the days leading up to my most complex college finals/projects were also the times that my dorm room or house was the cleanest, most orderly, and free of any and all dirty laundry. I would literally do ANYTHING to avoid studying. Some of the more random things I remember doing as an alternative: playing tennis with my roommate until we both almost died (a.k.a. 20 minutes), spending every waking minute for days putting together a 1000 piece puzzle, watching back-to-back recorded episodes (VHS!) of Dawson's Creek. Ahhhh, those were the days!
I would also like to submit that, in joking about having A.D.D. (Attention Deficit Disorder), I am not making light of those who actually suffer from this condition. I am not mocking them. I am identifying with them. I, like I assume many others do, always mistakenly thought that people who deal with A.D.D. have trouble focusing. I pictured them to be hyper, spastic, and just all over the place. THAT, I'm not. But then I read an article. (I can't remember where. I rarely do. Another symptom, perhaps? I can't be sure.) While I can't remember when or where, I do remember one quote that really brought everything into perspective for me. Allow me to paraphrase loosely. The gist of the statement was that "people who suffer from A.D.D. don't have a problem with their ability to focus. They're extremely focused. They're just extremely focused...on something else."
That was a defining moment for me. After reading that description, I became convinced. I definitely suffer from some sort of manageable level of A.D.D. I say "manageable" because it doesn't seem to affect, to any noticeable degree, my day-to-day life. I mean, there's the occasional situation where I suddenly realize I've been out of touch for the past 10 minutes of my conference call because I've been intensely studying a hangnail. And then there's the seemingly routine shower where I step out to realize I've been in there 20 minutes and I have NO IDEA where all that time went! Please tell me someone else can identify!
I hate to enable or justify my behavior (because clearly I don't intend to seek any treatment), but...it almost seems like the shoe fits. I'm easily distracted and, once side-tracked, have a hard time refocusing. I can spend ungodly amounts of time focusing on something so unbelievably mundane that it should have bored me after a few minutes. And I complete the most undesirable tasks imaginable, just to avoid the things I really need to be doing. Yep, I'd say the diagnosis is clear.

Q: Do I suffer from A.D.D.?
A: Ohhh, look at the pretty butterfly!

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