Thursday, April 21, 2011

Have I lost my mind?!

Last year I hosted both sides of my crazy dysfunctional family for Easter. I did not seem to learn my lesson. As I have chosen to repeat this chaos yet again for the second year in a row.

To say that I'm very different from the family from which I was birthed is an understatement. We act differently. We think differently. We most definitely cook differently. I can't remember the last time I fried something, but that's the only way my family will eat most vegetables. I feel odd serving too many starches, but my family will gladly line up a buffet table with mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, macaroni, corn, and rolls and not think a THING about it!

Today I actually did a head count and realized that there are 26 (TWENTY-SIX!) people coming to my house for lunch on Easter Sunday. I LIVE IN A GARDEN HOME! I have less than 1,500 square feet! Have I lost my mind?! Seriously!!

It'll be ok. I'm sure. Right? RIGHT?! I mean, I only have to cook a fairly minimal amount of food myself. A pound cake, a chocolate sheet cake, peach cobbler, fried okra (see?), squash casserole (which most of my picky family won't eat, but...who cares?!...I like it, and I'm making it anyway!), rolls, drinks...OMG! What have I done?!'s ok. Really. I'll survive.

Part of my problem stems from the fact that I have a deep-seated tendency to over-prepare for such events. There's always entirely too much food. We end up throwing away leftovers. But it still doesn't stop me from doubling, even TRIPLING, recipes in the desperate hope that we won't run out of food. I mean, how HORRIBLE would that be?! My philosophy is basically that I need to have enough of each dish so that, if every single person present loaded their plate with an entire serving (vs. the mere single spoonful that they'll probably actually get) of every single item on the buffet...there would still be leftovers!

This is so dumb. I do realize. But it beats the heck out of the mortifying alternative...that we would run out of something! It really all comes down to me staring at my cookbook, reading the instructions and quantities for a recipe that feeds 6 and knowing that I have to serve 14...and now, this weekend, TWENTY-SIX! It's all I can do not to quadruple the recipe!

But I won't. I'll double it at best. If something runs out, I'll just tell my crazy family that I'm shocked I finally made something they like. Or I'll make a joke about what a bunch of pigs they are. Or I'll just hide the bowl before more people come through the line. And I'll focus my attention on making sure my house is still standing.

Q: Have I lost my mind?!
A: I have no idea. I'll let you know Monday...

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